Forwarded to the net 17 Dec 1997, by "Howard, Jonathan D" <jonathan.d.howard@nspco.com>
TALES FROM THE RIVER
Issue 47The two biggest stories in the railroad industry this year both involved mergers. While Union Pacific is haunted by the "ghost of mergers past", Conrail employees are being visited by the "ghost of mergers yet to come". Understandably, many are having trouble getting the Christmas spirit with all that's going on, so here are a couple of "Holiday Classics" to get you in the mood:
CSX IS COMING TO TOWN You'd better not buy a house or a car, your railroad career won't go very far. CSX is coming to town!
They made a great deal, they got a great price, till N.S. stepped in and told them "no dice". CSX is coming to town!
They're going to split up Conrail, that really makes us ill, And even though he blew the deal, Dave still gets his twenty mill.
Oh, you better not trip and don't stub your toe, 'cause if you get hurt, then you'll be let go! Norfolk Southern's coming to town!
When you come to work, we'll give you a bag, but you'll get the sack if our profits sag. Norfolk Southern's coming to town!
We paid too much for Conrail, both companies agree, We'll have to tear up so much track, we'll end up like the U.P.!
Employees and shippers, both will get stuck, as long as stockholders can make a buck. CSX is coming to town! Norfolk Southern's coming to town!
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
(ON THE UNION PACIFIC)Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the west, not a steel wheel was turning, all trains were at rest.
The train crews were stuck in sidings everywhere, In hopes that their re-crews soon would be there.
My conductor and I hid our eyes with our cap, and adjusted our seats for a long winter's nap.
When from outside the cab there arose such a clatter, I sat up in my seat to see what was the matter.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear, but Santa's sleigh pulled by sled dogs, not reindeer.
I opened the window in search of an answer, "Hey Santa!" I called "Where's Dancer? Where's Prancer?"
Santa landed and told me a grim tale of woe, how the reindeer were hungry and too weak to tow!
He said: "All the reindeer food's stuck in Nebraska, there's none anywhere from Iceland to Alaska!"
"And my toys are at Long Beach piled up on the docks, I've got nothing to give the good children but socks!"
"And I can't fill the stockings of kids who've been bad, I've looked everywhere, there's no coal to be had."
When I asked Santa why, he was very specific, he blamed all his troubles on Union Pacific.
As he flew off in his sleigh, over mountain and river, I heard him exclaim: "Somehow, I will deliver!"